One Tiny Koala Equals One Giant Boob Grab

After Fraser Island, my next stop was ‘Noosa’, a small city, 2 hours outside of Brisbane. I had one night to spend before I had to travel to Brisbane to meet my family. One night was not nearly enough time to spend in a city that had so much charm and appeal. Would have loved to spend more time here, or with the cute Australian waiter I may have met(he may have made the appeal of Nossa that much stronger) but that is the joy and turmoil of traveling. You have to keep moving, no matter how much longer you may want to stay. But, I was on a mission, I needed to make it to Brisbane in order to meet the plane that my mom and sister were arriving on. The countdown was on, 24 hours and counting!

I made it to Brisbane the night before my family was to arrive. I settled into the hostel and to my surprise settled into an eight bed dorm that consisted of me and 7 other men. Can’t quite say that I have ever been in this situation, and it was interesting to say the least. There are quite a few things I learned that night:

1. Some men have no shame. Seriously, can you at least pick up your dirty under ware of the bathroom floor? Not really sure if I want to see this first thing in the morning? Also tighty whities seem to be a lot more popular here. Should I have maybe discussed the unpopularity of these with women? Or the fact that once they turn yellow with age it is time to throw them out?

2. It is possible to burp, fart and cough in your sleep. Simultaneously at times. Who knew?

3. Cereal has become a major staple food in their diet. I like cereal as much as the next person, but.....

4. Dirty magazines make great bathroom reading

5. Men have almost as many products as women. There was a lot of gel, hairsprays, body washes, etc.... But, why did the room still smell like there was a dead corpse in there? I was convinced I would stumble upon it at some point.

6. Snoring can reach levels I have never heard

The next day I arrived at the airport and prepared to meet my family....

I almost didn’t see them when they arrived. Hidden behind a cart of 4 suitcases and 3 carry on bags, I almost missed them. My first thought was, "Thank god they made it and it is going to be an interesting three weeks. How are we going to carry all these bags?" Hugs, kisses and a few tears on my mom’s part and we were prepared to begin the Kiziak girls family reunion trip! If only they could keep their eyes open long enough to reach the hotel.

Well it has been four days now and we are slowly starting to settle into some sort of routine. Mom and Trina have been completely exhausted and are suffering the effects of jet lag. Trying to convince them not to go to bed at 8pm and wake up at 5:30 has been completely unsuccessful. I am almost as tired as if I had been the one with jet lag. But I have been keeping them busy and we have been on the go non stop.

Day 1:

Kind enough to let them sleep, I caught up on some of my reading and emailing for the 6 hours that they were out. I had to resist the temptation to poke them and cough loudly enough to wake them up. I settled for just having them there and the Vietnamese meal and movie night we had later that night. Was it to much to ask for them to pay attention to ME?!!!!

Day 2:

No more sleeping! It was time to break them in to the joys of traveling. First on the agenda, "The Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary." I like to think they enjoyed the experience of feeding kangaroos by hand and of cuddling a koala bear. My mother was hilarious. She was convinced that the koalas had lice and that we were going to catch it for sure. It took some convincing but we were able to get here to hold one long enough for a cuddle and a ‘boob grab’. The koala seemed to really love the fact that my mom was really well endowed. It’s little paw was stretched as far as it could and it rested it’s head on her boobs. Must say priceless! My dad would not have been happy someone was messing with his woman.

Day 3

‘The Australian Zoo’- the home of the crocodile hunter. A really long day! Must say that it was worth the 2 hour trek there and back just to have the ability to say I was at ‘Steve Irwin’s Zoo’. An afternoon well spent. Quite informative really and now have a greater appreciation for crocodiles and khaki shorts. I think me and Trina were paying more attention to the crocodile wranglers than the actual show. So hot, even with hiking boots and socks!

It was really sad to see the memorial they have set up for Steve Irwin though. He was definitely well loved by everyone who knew him and had touched a lot of people lives. The sadness in the zoo was almost tangible.

It has been quite a busy few days. Lots of laughter on our parts and only a few ‘F’ bombs when we have reached the point of irritability. Must say that by spending as much time with each other we have learned a few new things about each other: For example:

Mom

1.She is a complete germaphobe. She had packed a whole suitcase of medication and antiseptics. If I have to hear, " Don’t sit on the seat," one more time I will scream! Plus, she refuses to drink tap water. Bottled water here can sell for $3 a bottle.

2. She can start to snore a mere 3 milliseconds after she says goodnight.

3. She loves to meet new people, but always seems to meet people that cannot speak English. She still likes to try to get her point across by talking slower and louder.

4. She only likes to use her towel a couple times before it needs to be washed. My moto since beginning traveling, "If it doesn’t smell bad, it is still good to use."

5. ‘Chicken Soup for the Couples Soul’ makes her cry, but she tries to hide it

6. Kangaroos freak her out. She thinks they are going to kill you!

7. When she gets nervous she laughs, really loudly and uncontrollably

Trina

1. She has somewhere accumulated ADD. I suspect that it is getting worse. For example a typical sentence, " I love Roxie, she is so cute, I miss her, I’m hungry, what a pretty bird!" -What does this mean?

2. She is not used to any form of physical activity. Her black lung starts to act up!

3. If you as ask her a question she can completely tune you out, only to answer you 10 minutes later. By this time you have no idea what she is talking about.

4. She sometimes likes to read exerts of her book out loud. Parts of a story she thinks we will find interesting. She even converts to her special ‘novelists voice.’

5. Creeps are drawn to her, but she has not yet mastered the technique of telling them to screw off in a nice manner.

6. She likes to spend more time in her underware than actual clothes. Does she want me to commit suicide?

7. When she is using my Ipod she likes to sing out loud. On a bus, train, boat, it doesn’t really matter. She does not use her inside voice and is completely tone deaf!

8. Almost any conversation we have can be turned around to involve something funny her cat Roxie did.

This is what they have learned about me as told by Trina:

Pam

1. She likes to sleep past 5:30 in the morning. No sleep equals a very irritable and grumpy Poopsy.

2. She has a fascination for otters.

3. She has a great right hook when someone decides to pinch her ass and twist.

4.She laughs when Mom cries over reading Chicken Soup for the Couples Soul.

5.She really is a drill sergeant when we have to be somewhere on time and does not like to take breaks when walking.

And something we always knew about Pam is her ‘Night terror’s’. Seriously, do we have to dream about everything we saw that day? Do we have to have complete conversations with otters and Germans all night long?

TBC....