Roadtrippin' To Eilat... and other stories

I guess it was Thursday 23rd...

I had to check out by 11ish, so I got my belongings all packed and nipped across the road for a breakfast bagel (smoked salmon and cream cheese.. mmmm....) at Coffee Time Bagels; and tried my luck calling a number I had for Bar Am kibbutz near Haifa.

No answer. Nothing.

I tried calling at 20 minute intervals, but still having no luck, I grabbed my things from the hostel, checked out (oh, actually, no I didn't... but I'm sure they got the idea that I'd left), and headed for the Central Bus Station.

As usual there was a long queue of people going through security checks a the entrance. Luckily on this entrance they actually have a scanning machine (when I arrived to Jerusalem, I had to go through the humiliation of having my backpack unpacked bit by bit in front of a queue of barging, angry Israelis. Great fun.... I tell you it was not) so it didn't take too long to get through. I made my way straight for the ticket desk to see if they had any availability for Eilat. I figured a few days in the sun would do me and my foot a world of good.

65 sheqels one-way. Right awn! I had to wait a few hours, but no matter, I opened my copy of Lord Of The Flies, and began to read. A smoothie and some junk food later, I was boarding the 444 for Eilat. There were lots of soldiers on my coach making lots of noise and talking on mobile phones, so I was actually rather glad to plug myself into my discman and just sit back and enjoy the views.

On leaving Jerusalem the scenery was that of rambling hills and trees.... the further we progressed the more this morphed into a desert landscape... We passed shepherds, living in tin shacks, we passed camels sitting lazily at the roadside. The sky was a brilliant blue and the sun was shining. Definitely a wonderful day for a roadtrip!

Not much time had passed when we were properly into the desert, among mountainous sand dunes we drove on until I could see a huge mass of bright blue in the distance. I checked my map. Yes indeedy - it was the Dead Sea! I guess I always just imagined the Dead Sea to be a murky green/brown kind of colour. No idea why. Maybe because it's 'dead' and those are not very nice colours... so I associated them with death? Erm...

Anyway, forget that. It was BLUE. Bright blue! Gorgeous, breathtaking, stunning, er.. COLOURFUL blue! Hooray for Blue!

Yes... so now that we've established its colour, I'll continue. I was lucky enough to have both seats to myself, but I believe it was at Ein Gedi that a load of people joined the bus, and eventually I found myself sitting next to a.. hmmm... I'd say 15 year old boy who LOOKED JUST LIKE A CARTOON!!! Man, I can't really explain why that's so exciting, but really it was! Kind of in the Cities of Gold kind of style. Perfect features - evenly spaced, eyes like startled black inkwells (if indeed there is such a thing), a gently turned up nose, and this long-ish flicked out hair (as they always have in cartoons), and light olive skin. Was highly amused by this observation, but didn't want to freak him out, so just kept my nose in a book and wished I had someone to say 'Doesn't he look like a cartoon?' to. Alas, no.  =(

Getting back to the roadtrip, we stopped to pick up and let people off at many of the resorts by the Dead Sea, so I really did get a good look at it. You could see Jordan just over the water, beckoning me over 'Melanie... come on, you know you want to pay me a visit. Come and visit Petra - the place of safety' Just kiddin' folks, I'm not going to go to any arab countries...

Finally the daylight began to fade, and we could see the twinkling of lights in the distance. Eilat. As the dark strengthened, I had Led Zep's 'Immigrant Song' on my discman. Don't ask me why, but it was very fitting. Again. Don't ask me why.

On arrival at the bus station in Eilat, and armed only with a few possibly out-dated addresses to hostels; I jumped in a cab and gave him the address to the 'Fawlty Towers Hostel' (I kid you not) - it had the best reviews... erm... from 14 years ago when the Lonely Planet I had on me was published. As we pulled up to the hostel, the cab driver turned around to me, looked at me weird, and said 'Is anyone expecting you here?'

Well no. Not exactly.

I took my luggage from the boot and walked up to the hostel. A head of black curls poked its head from the window above.

'Hey! Can I help you?'

'Erm... I wanted a bed for the night. This is a hostel, right?' (to be honest, it didn't really resemble one)

'Wait one moment' The head disappeared.

Elad (from what I could understand this was his name) ushered me inside. 'Come in. Come in!' threw open a door to a room - NOT a dorm, but a private room with two single beds pushed together, a TV, and an en suite bathroom. He began to blabber on about how he would make me a very special offer because of blah blah blah (didn't catch what. I was pretty tired) and it was mine for two nights, for just 40 sheqels. 40 sheqels?! That's cheaper than all the hostels I'd stayed in, in a dorm too (apart from the nasty one in the Old City of Jerusalem - that was 35. In my opinion they should have had to PAY people to stay there!). Something really did not seem right. Oh well. Who was I to argue. I was tired, and needed somewhere to stay the night. I longed for a hot shower, some food, and then bed. However, Elad insisted I join him upstairs for some tea and a chat 'Make yourself at home!' he said, and pushed me into his room where there was another guy sitting there, and the TV blaring with some Israeli Pop Idol type program. I sat down on the offered chair, and took a glass of cinnamon tea.

Elad began to talk. I noticed he really loved to talk. Big time. He liked to share stories. And talk. And talk. And talk. Looking back (actually at the time I also suspected it) I reckon he was on coke. He told me that my staying there was a 'blessing from God' because he wanted to go to England and he needed my advice. He began to tell me of an ex girlfriend from about 15 years ago who he wanted to track down there. Not much of his story made a good deal of sense, but he brought out the photos of his travels (he's seem a lot of the world). Photos of Thailand ('You should be there! This is what you're missing! Why the fuck did you come to Israel for? Waste of time!'), Egypt, and the ex-girlfriend - Anna. Sometime after he'd exhausted that particular story, he began to tell me about how he used to be a sport junkie, but then he got an injury.. and

You know what? I was exhausted by my time spent with him. I won't put you through it also.

I questioned him as to whether anyone else was staying at the 'hostel'... as I really hadn't seen anyone, and my room had board over the window. 'Yes, yes! Of course there are other people!' he insisted, not looking me in the eye. Finally there was a knock at the door. A stern looking man entered, and they started talking urgently in Hebrew, and then Elad hopped off to his cupboard, rummaged around and gave something to the man, who also gave him some money in return.

Hmmm...?!?!?

This kept happening every so often. The other guy who had been in the room with us, had left, and it was just Elad and I. I was looking for ways to politely get up and leave. I was hungry, and he was completely manic. Not exactly what I was in the mood for. He would lock the door, and sit down, continuing to tell his story, keep poking his head out the window, looking around, then there'd be a knock at the door 'Excuse me', he'd answer it, start babbling in Hebrew, go to his cupboard, rummage around... be given money.

So this kept on. Finally I managed to interject with 'I'm sorry Elad, I'm tired and I want to eat. Can you suggest anywhere?'. He seemed a bit taken aback, but pointed me in the direction of a schwarma place, and as I left shouted after me to make myself at home and drop on him any time.

I checked out two nights later.