Jodphur

We took a flight from Kerala to Mumbai and stayed in the fairly awful Host Inn. (Cockroach city!! perhaps they mean a host of cockroaches) The room is damp and dingy and we have roaches big enough to move the greasy fridge that lurks, full of botulism in the corner of the room.  We're a bit knackered so stay in and eat in the hotel restaurant.  We have perhaps the hottest curry we've ever experienced, it's bloody awful.

When we check out I don't have the right change to pay the bill (after they try to charge again for last nights dinner, and we'er a few Paise short, (100 paise to the rupee, 80 rupees to the quid). Most times it just gets rounded up or down in a civilised way but the little Nazi behind the desk won't budge so I hit a cashpoint and bung him some rupees....He doesn't want to giove me the Paise change!!!

"I have none"

" That's your blasted problem mate"

We stand Icy faced while he empties his pockets, wallet, change jar, tips jar etc to get the right change....when we then give it all to the urchin who opens the car door for us outside his face was a picture

A short 20 hour train hop to Jodphur. On the way we pass Surat at very slow speed so we can appreciate the true horror of the place.  Poisonous looking pools of water everywhere, unatural, deep greens, rust browns and reds.  Kids wallowing in filth as they crawl naked across crap heaps looking for something, anything to make something, anything out of.

Acrid looking smoke belches from some factory chimneys filling the air with soot and smut, people are taking craps in the gutter, on the station platform just crapping onto the line, a couple of guys are waiting for the train, the fact they have perfect clean white shirts on seems miraculous in this place.  We can both feel the weight on our shoulders that just knowing places like this exist imparts, that people live here is testimony to their incredible fortitude.  Surat is one of the shitholes of the world, more power to them that can live there, and a pox on those that profit from their misery.

On arrival in Jodphur after the bone rattling 20 odd hour train trip the guys from the guest house meet us at the station amidst utter pandemonium in the early hours of the morning.  They bundle us into a rickshaw and we're soon racing through the tight back streets of Jodphur toward the magnficent fort.  Some of the backstreets are too tight for two people to pass abreast but predictably this doesn't slow down the rickshaw any!!

Our guest house, The Krishna Prakash is nestled right under the fortress walls, we have a wonderful room on a marble courtyard, there's a roof top restaurant that has amazing views of the fortress walls above and the city below...staggering!! We spend a day wondering through the back streets and alleys of this amazing old city.  As usual the place is full of cowshit which just keeps getting added to, as we came out of our hotel to find an hour old calf shivering in the street.

Take the 15 minute (very steep and hot) walk up to the fortress and spend an amazing day touring the place.  The views from the battlements are jaw dropping.  At one point in the fort the Indian curiosity where we "white folks" are concerned is carried to quite an extreme.  We're in one of the exhibits, one of the Maharajas more extravagant LUUUUUURVE chambers, the exhibit is on our left and is viewed from a long gallery, this gallery is packed with a school party, a teacher is briefing the kids and directing their attention to the gold and mirrored splendours "dans la boudiour" .....I happen to look around and notice not a single one of the buggers is looking at the the cushioned rumpy pumpy palace but instead are scrutinising Kim and I as if we just beamed down.  I took a photo which I hope comes out OK!!

Diwalli is approaching and there are fireworks going off the whole time it really is quite a sight (to behold)from the roof top restaurant. The city is laid out below us and we can clearly see the clock tower in the middle of the market place going through its colored light change routine.  Above and behind us hulks the huge Jodphur fort, fireworks arc over us, explode into falls of sparkling red,blue, gold and silver, magic, just magic.

Trudging through the hot dusty streets is the usual education, down through the market square and to Jodphur main street, through the insane traffic.  The pollution is incredible, the noise deafening as every stall and shop holder tries to drag you into their store to buy god knows what.  Down at the busy crossroads we sit and nurse some cokes and watch Indian daily life unfolding.  Look, you've just got to do this if you get the chance....... bloody amazing.