Oh My God

Rohana and I
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Friday we had the whole day to pack our things and relax at home together with the family until tomorrow birght and early when we bus it out to Winnipeg for the weekend and take off to Sri Lanka. Its a mixture of feelings, joy of the good times that are sure to come and the fear and concern of the unknown. But the joy and excitement far surpass the fear or going across seas. So we just packed our things and cleaned our rooms.

This morning we got up pretty early to make sure we had everything we needed packed and ready to go so we could be in town for 8:00. Murray was not coming to town because he had to do the morning chores so we said good-bye to him in the kitchen before we left. It was a bit hard for Rohana because the likleyhood of seeing eachother again is pretty low, for me it wasnt too bad for I know I will be back someday soon. So we were off to the Viscount where everyone congregated to say their last goodbyes to peoople of the community.  When the bus arrived it was a painfully long time before we actually got on the road. It was really hard to see Rohana and Donna cry so much. It even made me cry a bit.. Imagine that :P  So eventually the bus driver decided we should be on our way so we boarded the bus and took off to Winnipeg for a few days of orientation and de-briefing.

What an ending

Circle of hands
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We arrived at the hotel around 12 and got settled into our rooms. We had an hour or two to get our things in order before we started our activities. We had a few activites palnned for the day but things were mixed up due to Diane coming from Toronto to talk to us. OH MY GOD. We are apparently no longer going to Sri Lanka. We question why Diane had come to talk to us but thought nothing extreme about it. They say that things are getting to hot in Sri Lanka and they dont deem it safe enough for us to go there. There is no way that I can express how I am feeling right now in text except to say that I feel like I am about to throw up. The whole group was caught completley broadside. We had heard that there were things going on in Sri Lnaka but we had hoped that it was nothing to be worried about. But we were wrong. Tonite was honestly the hardest night I have ever experienced. Rohana and everyone else were apologizing to me for not being able to go to Sri Lanka as if it were their own faults. I had no idea how to handle such an awful feeling or sorrow and fear for them. Even though it is too dangerous for us to go they need to return to Sri Lanka before their visas expire. I feel so horrible although it is such an understatement. We Westerners as a society are so spoiled. What has changed for us really? We need to go home and get a job or go to school 3 months earlier than we though we would have to? While the Sri Lnkans have to return to their country no matter the dangers that may lie ahead for them? But as synical as it may sound I think I have  come out of this situation with an extremely valueable lesson. During the first half of the program Rohana and I had a pretty good relationship but it certainley could have been better. So I made myself a promise that when we arrived in Sri Lanka would make a great effort to get to know him more. I would start my journal, I would talk to people about things I was too scared and worried to talk to them about because I was afraid of what they may say or think of me............ Sri Lanka never came.... So I have learned that if you wait until tomorrow and tomorrow never comes you have missed your only chance. If you want it bad enough... do it today, not tomorrow, because it will catch you blind-sided and its such a hard pill to swallow.

Mike and Devinda
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So on Monday we all woke up early and loaded onto the bus to take our friends, bothers and sisters from afar to the airport where we would say our goodbyes. Their reluctant departures were met with many an agonizing tear from everyone. Not a dry face or unbroken heart left the airport today. As much as we all welcomed the invitation to Sri Lanka by our friends leaving us today the chance is not un-attainable but far off in the future for most of us.

Once we got back to the hotel we who remained looked to one another for support and comfort needed to help overcome our recent team tragedy. For the last day we were together for the most part we hung out together. We had a group meeting on Monday nigt to discuss our alternative options. Turns out that if we have 3 options. 1: Call it quits (NO) 2: If we so choose we have priority over anyone else who is accepted to choose where we want to go on next years program. or 3: we have been offered a 4 week program in Equador, same structure as the regular CWY but no counterparts. I have chosen to go to Equador for most of the people in both brandon group and my group have chosen that one. Plus Equador would be pretty nice. We would be in a small community in the Andes mountains. Brittany, Mike, Nick, Andria and a few others are planning on staying in South America for about a month afterwards just to travel around seeing as were already there. We can change the date of our flight home so that expence is paid for regardless. So things arent as good as we had thought they were at the beggining of the weekend but at least we werent left high and dry like the Sri Lankans but there is nothing that we can do to convince CWY or the NYSC to give the Sri Lankans an equal opportuity which is a shame.

Gayanni, Audree, Max and Rohana
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So we made the best of what little time we had together. We went out to the bar and a few of us got pretty hammered up. So much that when they came back to the hotel they were being far too loud and falling all over the place. Not the way I would have chosen to end off the program but to each is his own. So at 4:00 that morning I got up to see Max off to the airport and to finish packing myself for my 7:30 flight out of Winnipeg. It was nice of Audree, Mathieu and Omar to see me off at the door. I didnt way anything at thetime when it happened but its eating away at me now but Nicole didnt want Audree to come to the airport because she said it would be too hard for her to say goodbye anymore. I really feel like shit for not saying  anything Audree. I really dont know why i didnt say Fuck that shit and have you come with me.

The whole Neepawa group
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So overall this has been a far from perfect ending to a so potentially rewarding program but life is a bitch sometimes. We had 3 amaizing months together and I will never in my life forget the times we had in Neepawa. Friends forever and I WILL keep in touch no matter what.

Passe hamu wamu

Ryan