Dubai: The Dark Eyes Behind the White Smile

Naturally, the dream often springs from someone with imagination, power, influence/money (same thing), megalomaniacal tendencies (fathered by benign despot/raised by paid nurse), wholly detached from reality (spoilt), little understanding of the word "no" (add up all previous factors), fuelled by paid advisors (tapeworms)...you can see how good intentions begin to unravel....and then the search is on for someone to build it! At the right price of course. Business. Get the best possible deal for the least possible cash. Dreams are made of such.

In Dubai, you will not even have to leave the passenger terminal to realize that there are those who dream/do coffee/order and those who who work; and it aint hard to guess the nationalities what do the donkey stuff: sub-continent and Philippino. Venture out into the streets (and you'll have plenty of time on the streets, stuck in the endless traffic gridlock that Dubai has become over the last five years) and this work ethic is reinforced one million-fold. Every toiling labourer sweating in the sun and sand isn't an Arab. Or rather, yes, there are Arabs there (Lebanese, Eqyptian, Jordanian), NON-Gulf Arabs, but as the supervisors, the bosses, the ones responsible for building everything. The ones who have to work to pay their mortgages and at the same time their rent in an outrageously expensive place to live. The ones who have to weigh up whether they get the best materials and workers or try to save money (and their jobs) and recruit non-specialists, buy cheaper materials....Catch-22.

It is no surprize that "expatriate workers" have made world headlines recently by going on strike. It is no surprize, either, that these strikes have been going on for years, but have been quietly hushed up by the authorities. I remember being woken up one morning almost three years ago when I was staying in "The Meadows" (a new bijou sprawl of houses between Dubai and Jebel Ali) by what was nothing less than a riot by workers (at least ten bus-loads, so say at least 200) who were chanting and milling around a saloon of the "boss" who quickly got a "security" jeep on the scene, but both boss and security were pushed up the street until the real police arrived, headed by a "higher" boss. Only then was order restored, workers put on buses and taken away, but no work was done for at least another two days, presumably until the workers got paid something. One of the guys on "The Meadows" security gates (an Egyptian) actually told me that he hadn't been paid in almost three months, but this was normal. Indeed, a European expatriate worker from a well-known construction-vehicle leasing company told me that Emaar (builders of the Dubai "vision") went through at least two concrete/building materials suppliers in six months because these companies weren't paid, either. It is little wonder, then, that the buildings built in this new Dubai aren't really quite up to the mark one might expect from the glossy advertizements and brochures. After all, why should a worker totally focus for his 12 hour shift when he knows that he might not get paid for his efforts? Or that to go to the lavatory he needs to head off to the nearest stretch of sand (I have a really great photo of what became known as 'Shit Alley", behind The Meadows, where there were/are literally thousands of small piles baking away in shimmering dunes, actually not too far from where the labouring scenes of Clooney's "Syriana" was filmed)? Or that if he doesn't have the tools to hand he has to make do with whatever building detritus is laying around? Knowing also that the more "rich" foreigners who buy houses, flats, apartments here, the less he will be able to afford the rising prices for food, either from the supermarkets or from the little corner cafes that are being driven out by the image-conscious authorities? The result is slumpage, cracking, poor quality fixings, poor connections, blocked water outlets and drains (usually because the grout/cement used to tile the bathrooms and kitchens is poured down the drain and there is no water to flush it away until the owner arrives months later), etc & etc. Think about these kinds of things on one of the many skyscrapers being built! No wonder when there was a slight Earth tremor felt a couple of years ago thousands of labourers fled their construction towers without a second's hesitation. These things, of course, don't bother those who can afford to but one (or in many cases) several properties, however. Especially if they are buying from plans, as they are only after the cash they will make by selling it on for a tidy-little-when-it -nears-completion  profit to some gormless oik who actually does want to live in a monstrous tower block, thirty storeys up, peering out across thirty meters of smog onto the minuscule, dusty balcony of another high rise monstrosity, before contemplating a three hour wait in traffic to go dahn tahn to Jimmy Dix's and pay five quid for a lager. Still at least its Dooooobye, innit? And nobody is gonna publically slag off a place wot they 'ave bought into are they, squire? Catch-22. For a certain "type" of expat Brit, anyway.

I read an article recently in a UK newspaper and, to paraphrase somebody who actually lives in Dubai (but interestingly wants to remain anonymous), "...you have just got to accept what goes on here...you either fit in or fuck off...." But what about those who can't?

Those who can't are those who are tied into almost human-organ-trading contracts with unscrupulous business partners or local owners of businesses. Low-paid sub-continent/Philippino workers who are tied into a long-term contract and who haven't been paid. Sex slaves (go for a walk around Bur Dubai, Golden Sands) from the sub-continent, Philippines, Eastern Europe) who earn their local sponsors some pocket money. Very pleasant, but rather gullible people who moved to Dubai before the rush (five years ago) who can't afford, financially, to move now. Professionals who are flattered into relocating to Dubai with a series of never-ending empty promises and can't afford to upset their all-powerful employers and risk losing references/getting a visa-ban. The list goes on and this is down to seemingly fair and transparent, but realistically completely mercenary and hypocritical employment laws. A bit like the press in Dubai as well. Oh, and the traffic laws. Oh, sorry, and the residency laws. Oops, just about all manner of life in the UAE. It's an interesting statistic, according to one well known US business magazine, that "the UAE (probably Dubai) has the world's highest incidence of employee absconsion".   But hey, it's the Emirates. It's their country. you either fit in or fuck off, don't you?

I wonder why there have never been any terrorist attacks. Random thought. Hypocritical hmmm moment. With so many expats wouldn't you at least expect a bit of radical Islamic retribution?

Enough! So, not, perhaps the world's best place to live (if you are anything less than a celeb and/or earning obscene amounts of money), but good for a holiday?

Absolutely. Great for guys who play "Around the World" (with so many girls and so many bars, it helps keep various policemen in fast cars). Just to capture the corpulent essence of the expat (pseudo) cashfest, pop into the Dhow and Anchor in the Jumierah Beach Hotel on a Thursday evening. You'll know why it has been renamed by many as "The Fat Wanker" upon instantly crossing the threshold. However, for those who like Rugby, the Sevens event every December is a really fantastic venue (but, again, being spoilt by corporate beerbellies); the Racing, the Golf, the Ski slope, Wild Wadi, and there'll be more such things coming up in the near future.

Shopping? No. Gone are the days when Dubai was a good deal. Most Arabic stuff (not made in China, Pakistan or Indonesia) can still be had if you know where to look in Sharjah. Brand names cost as much as London (without the selection) and don't be disappointed that you really can't find a "local" place to eat as the ubiquitous "Curry In A Hurry" ("Curry Like You Get Back Home"!) has ousted real local little Indian cafes at five times the price; Gordon Ramsay has transferred his overpriced and miniscule portions halfway across the globe to provide celeb comfort food instead of there being home-made hummous and spit-barbequed chicken.

Tours. These can be really good. Experience dune driving, camel scaring and "traditional" Bedu hospitality with Sheesha, Felaful and Belly Dancing. Or you can hire a 4x4 and do it yourself, so long as you take out an experienced guide. Get over to Fossil Rock, Big Red, the mountain passes around Ras Al Khaimah, Oman. The sunsets in the dunes, however, are really beautiful and need to be seen. Scuba diving is dire on the Gulf coast, but hop across to Fujierah and get to Martini Rock. Great life under the waves here.

So, Dubai. Like it (because you have to). Love it (to save face). Loathe it for it's brazen hypocrisy, but visit it to see just what imagination and flagrant bullshit can achieve. Before the bubble pops.