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“The idea of a "cruise" down the Yangzi River was highly appealing to the kids” |
So we headed for Chongqing where we could take a four-day river cruise down the Yangzi River through the famous Three Gorges before the dam that is currently under construction floods the area in 2009. Best of all, with daytime temperatures in the 40's, it would be over 20 degrees warmer than the high in Beijing.
That was the plan, and it sounded good on paper. But then we were introduced to the Cruise Ship of Pain.
I should mention that the children were very excited to go on a "cruise." One of Katrina's best friends took a cruise this summer with her family around the Baltic Sea in northern Europe at the same time that we were in the area. As we languished in a particularly dark, crusty hostel next to the Baltic Sea (The Hostel Baltic Ocean, for those who remember that saga) we imagined the cruise ship that Katrina's friend was on, with plush restaurants, a sparkling swimming pool, and fluffy white towels in the rooms.
The idea of a "cruise" down the Yangzi River was therefore highly appealing to the kids, though we insisted that our boat, built for the purpose of carrying local Chinese tourists, surely wouldn't be quite the same.
The beauty of the Three Gorges has been dampened by the ambiance of the Cruise Ship of Pain. The Chinese are desperately trying to go upscale with everything, but I don't think even Martha Stewart could save this boat.
Point number one is that I can see my breath in our cabin. My toes were cold, but thankfully I have now lost all feeling in them.
We were trying to escape the cold of Beijing, but at least we could take refuge in our warm hostel. Here on the Yangzi River, the cold cannot be escaped as there is no heat on the Cruise Ship of Pain. None. Nor is there any hot water for a shower during our four-day incarceration. I am surprised that the water that we do have flows, because it does feel as cold as ice, but it is still liquid. At least we have an ensuite bathroom with plumbing, though the exposed pipes shoot horizontal jets of water all over the bathroom any time you flush the toilet. Good thing we paid extra for it.
Our one and only source of heat in our room is September's hair dryer. We take turns blow drying our feet in hopes of removing the blue tinge from our toes.
I think that Martha Stewart might also have a bit of a problem with hacking and the spitting of the passengers into the wastebaskets and floor of the Cruise Ship of Pain. The Chinese are infamous for their spitting -- they do it everywhere. I find it loathesome when it is done on the street, but inside a crowded boat is disgusting beyond description.
Being a guy, I usually don't notice the décor of my surroundings, but in the case of the Cruise Ship of Pain I couldn't help it. The décor in our cabin is water-stained walls accentuated by ground-up chips of paint in the carpet. The dusty 1970's era "Precious Moments" lamp doesn't go far to give that nice homey feeling, but the half-drunk cups of tea left over from the previous occupants does.
To top it off, the observation deck of our boat is locked. Only those who have paid for a deck pass may go out to the observation deck. Somehow, the purpose of the "cruise" we had paid for -- sightseeing -- has been lost in translation because if you actually want to sightsee, it costs extra.
To sum it up, the silver lining of the Cruise Ship of Pain is to remind us of how miserable travel can be. I wish the kids would take note.
Katrina and Jordan are happily making tents in the top bunks with the moldy blankets and tiptoing through the flooded bathroom ("Wow! A toilet and sink all to ourselves!"). They are thrilled beyond words because we told them they could be Greek on this boat -- it is our little act of civil disobedience -- in remembrance of our Greek ferry experience last summer when we sailed to Greece with the locals partying loudly until the sun came up.
Having the kids be Greek isn't our only act of civil disobedience. The P.A. system seems to be the only thing on the boat that functions well. Starting at exactly 6:30 in the morning it pipes in an ear-splitting version of Chinese Muzak and the occasional Public Service Announcement that we can't understand.
Rather I should say it piped it in, as in past tense. I removed the speaker faceplate in our cabin and was able to un-wire the speaker. This worked so well that I did the same thing to the two speakers in the hall outside our room as the staff looked on with mild consternation.
Watching the kids cheerfully bouncing around on the Cruise Ship of Pain gave September and I reason to look inward a bit. Once again I am learning a lesson from my kids to enjoy the moment dispite the shortcomings. The Chinese passengers on the ship are clearly having a ball, and while we can't really communicate with them using words, through gestures and smiles they've indicated that we are very welcome to share in the experience with them. The scenery is spectacular, and if anyone has the chance to float down the Yangzi, by all means do so. Just be smarter than us as there are upscale boats!
We've really enjoyed our stay in China so far, and have found everyone to be friendly and helpful, despite our lack of knowledge of language skills.
Last, but not least, one of the nicest "unexpected things about China" has been a slice of home, as Christmas decorations are quite plentiful here, as are Christmas Carols.
In the coming days we will be making our way to Hong Kong (where spitting is now illegal!), and then we'll head to Thailand just before Christmas.
previous travel blog entry
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