Barcelona

DAY 1, WEDNESDAY - BARCELONA

Myself, Niamh and Ray made our way over to Barcelona. Mom and Dad had been over there since the Saturday. Audrey and Paul had been there since Tuesday. When we got to Barcelona we were knackered as we had been up since 4am (shouldn't have gone to bed really!!). We arrived there in full spirits and full of spirits.  We were dropping Niamh off to mom and dad's place as she was staying with them. We got there without too much hassle.  Mom and Dad were staying in the gay quarter of Barcelona and you wouldn’t really be able to tell from the outside or from the locals but definitely inside. Above mom and dad's bed was an……ornament??? of an elephant those trunk was not there for decoration and when you came up the stairs (they were staying in a duplex) there was a huge picture of a man doing the splits. This was not dad's favorite thing about Barcelona to say the least.  We all thought it was hilarious.  We got there in plenty of time to have a drink. We had brought mom a bottle of pernod in Dublin cause she was raging there was none in Barcelona and she was trying to substitute it with absinth (sheeesh!).   We had a beverage …or two till myself and Ray waited till 3pm for our apartment to be ready.  The time came, we legged it and went to find our apartment. We had mixed feelings, well I had mixed feelings of dread and excitement cause didn’t know what to expect when we got there. I knew it was gona be either one end of the scale or the other. Got there and got to our apartment. It was fantastic. Myself and Ray are gona go back to Barcelona just so we can have a party in this place. It was enormous with a balcony to die for. It was as big as our front room put together 6 times with a built in stainless steel kitchen, separate bedroom.. fabulous! Came complete with red leather sofa in the shape of lips, a big Elvis picture that lit up at night, everything lit up at night or had something to do with nighttime. There was your own CD player with CD's, a TV, a video and the only film they had in English…."dusk till dawn". YEAH BABY! Yep this place was meant for me. Wallah!  Myself and Ray hugged each other while jumping up and down on the bed yelling "yippee".  If you are going to Barcelona then seriously rent an apartment rather stay in a hotel.  wwwrent4days.com is the best website for renting apartments.  I would always book there again.  We were wrecked and tried to have a nap but scrambled outa bed and had a drink instead whilst ringing the folks telling them how much nice our place was then theirs, ha!  That night we met with Audrey and Paul and hit the Hard Rock Café (I know, I know, very Spanish!) for Niamh's birthday.  Not before dragging dad into a huge Sephora shop to get me some Christian Dior make up. . You want to have seen this shop. Felt like a pedophile in a Barney suit looking at everything.  Anyways, back to the meal. Mom and Ray collaborated on embarrassing the birthday girl with a dessert and candle and getting her up on the chair so the whole place could sing happy birthday whilst in a very short skirt…Vive le France!…..  Afterwards, and all a bit merry at this stage, we went back to our apartment (just had to show it off, ya swear I decorated it or something). We all got horribly drunk. Bit of a mad night. One with mam and Niamh having an argument in the toilets over Niamh's smoking, then mom hanging up-side-down off the red leather settee to Audrey dancing around the room with a giant cushion. End of night one.

DAY 2, THURSDAY – BARCELONA

Please note that on day 2 of our holiday the drama commenced in the Murray apartment. There was rain in Barcelona which caused the ceiling to leak and mom and dad to get a shower whilst lying in bed. Someone was called quickly to fix the problem. Everyone thought it was sorted……watch this space!!!!

Today myself, Niamh and Ray went on a bus tour of Barcelona. Because we were the last ones there everyone had already done this. Went to see the sights of the city and saw Antoni Gaudi's unfinished Segrada Familia.  This is a masterpiece and if you see nothing of Barcelona, make sure you see this.  This was a very touristy day. I didnt get to see Gaudi's house which I really wanted to see but I would defintely come back to Barcelona so will see it then.  Wanted to go to the Picasso Gallery (even though I dont really like Picasso) but we just didnt have time.  Ended up meeting Audrey and Paul when we went through Montjuich Hill to check out the 1992 Olympic Stadium.  Went back then to mom and dad's place. They were both in Monserrat that day. Mom was suffering from dehydration, poor soul. We all met up there to find the leak in the apartment had worsened.  We kinda felt guilty at this stage as mam had given up our apartment cause Ray liked it so much. Their  place was like faulty towers and everyone had their own part to play. Dad being John Cleese, Mom being Sybil and Niamh like the disgruntled guest.  At this stage the leak had continued down the stairs and there were pots holding each drip as it fell. Water everywhere. Myself and Ray had an early night as we were hitting the theme park tomorrow. Went home, got a little drunk and watched Dusk Till Dawn, brilliant!

DAY 3, FRIDAY – FORTE VENTURA

Oh joy, rapture…..bloody hangover!

Niamh was waiting for a guy to fix the leak when we arrived to collect her to go to the theme park. Again we were told all leaks fixed and everything ok. Watch this space…again!

Myself, Niamh and Ray went down to Forte Ventura. Ray was saying for weeks he was gona go and go by himself if he had to. How could you let him go down by himself. We just had to tag along…..just to make sure he was ok ya know! Got there and I had no swimsuit. Very prepared for my holiday I was, no sun cream, no swimsuit, jeans and boots with me. Got an swim outfit and there were two parks. A waterworld and …..a land world??? In the waterworld Niamh and Ray forced me down a water slide. While my fingers were being prised off a railing I was holding onto for dear life the assistant shook her head in disgust at me i.e cop onto yourself, its only a bit of water! Whatever you! Shoosh yeah was fun though. Myself and Niamh then hit a wave machine. All well and good when the waves are off and you have a 6ft 1 girl bringing you down the end, ah yeah, all fun and games then. It when the waves starts throwing ya around and your 5ft fuck all shouting for help that you wonder how you got yourself into it. Anyways………

Into the next park and it had a few kewl rides in it. Was a great day out and very glad we went.  Took about an hour to get home and I managed to acquire 3 mosquito bites. My very first ones. Didn’t feel honored or anything though, fuckers! Back to mom and dad's place whilst supping on a Starbucks to find the situation there had worsened. There was plenty of water around the place. Yer man didn’t fix a thing and there was a rumble in the Murray jungle. We trooped in. Audrey and Paul were booking a nice place for dinner and we had only about an hour to have a rest, have a drink and get our shit together. We had a bit of a problem though. I was the only one with a hairdryer and straightener and the mother had to sort her locks out. Dinner was booked for 8.30pm and it eventually kept getting put off till about 11pm. This is the reason why! We decided to have a drink or two and then mom got chatting and I kept pointing to my wrist (pretending I had a watch) to get the hair done cause I had to go back and get my hair done. Water still dripping at this stage and she had a shower.   Everything going smoothly when the place went dark. Yes ladies and gentlemen…a power cut! In our apartment only! The rest of Barcelona gleaming like a firefly (just to show off!). In fits of laughter at the state of their apartment with a mixture of Sangria in me I point out that I need to take the dryer home to get ready. Knowing there was no way I was gona get out of the place with my equipment, I resigned to having a shower by candlelight there. Very romantic! Anyways later al set and ready to go we had a gorgeous meal in Las Ramblas, I honestly cant remember the name of the place, and after my adventure that day i.e. walking around for miles, I was bunched. Niamh got her stuff from the apartment and spent the night in with me drinking and watching Dusk till Dawn for the first time. She was impressed if not a little weirded out as to what was going on.  Ray went out with Audrey and Paul and we made him a little camp bed to fall into at whatever hour he fell in at.

DAY 4 – SATURDAY, BARCELONA

FIRST DAY OF CRUISE

Woke up to the sound of my phone ringing today and someone telling me that because it was raining I wouldn’t have to check out until 1pm. I thought kewl and went back to sleep. Didn’t dawn on me who the person was or how they got my number, turns out the call was for dad and not for me at all. Didn’t matter, got extra sleep! Then was woken up to Ray throwing a pint of water over myself and Niamh. Brave man! Then he goes and locks himself in the bathroom.  All VERY excited at this stage, pack the stuff up and head to the taxi and on our way to the port. Meet mom and dad and there is free cookies on arrival. Putting two in the mouth and two in my pocket, checked in. All went up to see our rooms. Moms, Dad's and Niamh's were almost directly opposite mine and Ray's on the 7^th floor. Audrey and Paul were on the 3^rd floor. We all trooped into our room first to check it out and what a surprise?? a bottle of champage and a basket of chocolate dipped strawberries there to wish us all the best on our first cruise from the mother and father. Ahhh!  All trooped over to their room, sat on the balcony whilst sipping champage and watching the rest of the crowds come in.   Dosent get much better than this people!

There was so much to do at this stage, we all had a plan in our heads of something we wanted to do and it all pretty much went to shite when we saw everything that was there. All myself and Ray's plans of going to the gym every day, eating healthily and exercising out the window. 

We didn’t set sail that night as the winds were too high and the sea would have been rough so we missed out on Marseilles which I was disappointed about since I wanted to see where Nostradamus lived. Would have been interesting. Mom was planning on going aboard also. That night we sat down for our meal.  We all managed to get a table together.  We met out waiter, Marchello and he was like a grown up Mogli from the Jungle Book.  After dinner we headed upstairs to the club where we all had a few drinks and tried to dance.

DAY 5 – SUNDAY, AT SEA

Woke up this morning to the feeling that something wasn’t quite right. Leant over and felt around for my boyfriend, he was there so that wasn’t the problem.  Woke up and felt like a bit of a washing machine.   Realised then that we were at sea. Ray put some wrist bands on my wrist that were to stop motion sickness but unfortunately he only put one on my wrist instead of both but we only discovered this later on . We didn’t have any window or balcony in our room so didn’t know we were out at sea and just relied on our stomachs and heads. Feeling a bit ropey I managed to crawl over to Niamh and we went for breakfast (well lunch really!).   After we had breakfast we sat there in very dramatic style looking very sick and decided to retire to our rooms. The whole day I spent in the room groaning. At least we had TV thought with very decent channels and room service (which was included in the price) so it was ok. Had a facial that day upstairs and as the waves eased the nausea also eased.  This was our first formal night on the boat and the guys were all looking like James Bond and the girls all done up to the nines. Was great! All walked in looking gorgeous to the restaurant. The meal was fabulous and I thought Ray was very sick as he was constantly jumping up and down. Didn’t know what was wrong with him. Ray was determined that we were all going to see a broadway show in the theatre part of the ship that night and seemed like it would be good fun. We all headed in and then myself, Niamh and Audrey went to the toilet. We were a bit drunk and having a chat and realized that the show was starting. We got there and Ray looked set to pass out. What was the story?? Then this guy go on stage and said that every year they call out a state room that has won a free cruise. Sitting there looking around and he called my name and Ray's.  Couldn’t believe it! Up on stage and to be honest the only thing I was thinking about was not stumbling or falling on the way up. Yer man said to Ray "is this your wife" and Ray said "well I hope so". Then Ray got down on one knee and told me I had won Bully's Special Prize lol. He took out this gorgeous engagement ring and the whole place cheered. Was kinda in a daze then for the rest of the show and afterwards Audrey brought us straight to the champagne bar where she treated us to a big fat bottle of champers. We had to go upstairs then to the club and myself and Niamh were entertaining mom whilst dancing around the place. Basically to the sober eye we were prob making total tossers of ourselves but did we care…No!..