Bangkok/Chiangmai

Bangkok

The flight is great but Calcutta airport was the pits - just one latrine and a malfunctioning coffee machine to serve all International departures, all the officials have faces like slapped arses....India really knows how to treat its' guests. 

On the flight our meal is accompanied by free wine then more wine then Jack Daniels then more Jack Daniels served by the half pint (the stewardess felt she could not leave the bottle) we eventualy decant a half water bottle full of JD for later and get somewhat tipsy!

The new Bangkok airport is stunning and ultra modern, you couldn't ask for a greater contrast between here and India.  We are soon in a luxury  airconditioned cab travelling through the city.  Our driver cannot speak English and he has no idea where our hotel is despite our giving him the name, address, telephone number and a map!  When we finally get there Kim is doing cartwheels with joy to be out of India  and back in Thailand. 

The hotel is in China Town and the whole area is alive with light and bustle.  We wonder through the streets checking out the street food and markets and we eventually order far too much duck, pork and tomyam soup..... after living on veg and the occassional bit of chicken for the past 2 months in India we feel we can be excused the self indulgence and pitch in with gusto.........and beer. We go to bed full and very happy and despite the continual racket of China Town have a good nights kip!

We find some great shopping centers and a beer festival with live music and see our first Christmas decorations of the year. Beer festival in Thai unfortunately means drinking the yellow fizzy cold stuff that passes for beer in this part of the world but beggars can't be choosers, we drink Heinekin (I have my fingers crossed so it doesn't count) and Kim buys me a smoked salmon sandwich as a surprise.  I can't tell you how great it tasted after what we have been eating for the last few weeks.  Later we find German sausage (Steady Ms Harding) and a burger to complete the hat trick.

After a day trawling the biggest market in Bangkok (and that translates to f***ing big I can tell you!!)  you can buy anything from a teaspoon to a live gorilla, and there's a particularly busy puppy section; we weren't hungry though so we just looked for shirts and stuff! 

Later we take a trip to PatPong.  Pat pong has got a little more up market since we were here last and it's been touristyfied to a certain extent.  All the girls still line up outside the bars and it's still pretty seedy but there is not quite so much "Ping Pong, banana" on offer and we didn't see any of the insect stalls we enjoyed so much last time.

Open Letter to "The Publican" THe Olde Plough and Oast House, Little Climington.

Sir

Recently While in the Patpong area of Bangkok I was approached by a young lady offering "Ping pong, banana, dart, balloon, light bulb". I followed her assuming we were to visit her fathers general store as I was in need of some Werthers Originals.  It transpired however that she emitted the first 3 items with surprising velocity from her nether regions!

In the case of the 3rd, bursting the 4th whilst it was held between the teeth of a willling dupe; showering the assembled throng with confetti.  By some miracle the 5th item was caused to light up!!  There was a virtual uproar of admiration!!

I wonder if such a routine may enliven Sunday lunch times at "The Plough"?

I Remain yours

Colonel Blandford Fly 

We are sitting in an Irish bar at 22:00 watching Pompey play Everton at Fratton Park.  It's funny to sit here in a Thai redlight district in 25 degree heat watching a live match on the TV and think that our friend Rob and his son Sam is in the crowd on a chilly Saturday afternoon, we listen out for them but the Irish band is too loud and we have our faces completely in glasses of Guinness. 

We get the underground back to our hotel which is spotless and gleaming, with security guards on hand to make sure everyone is safe.  You can't help contrasting it with the underground in London at 23:00! 

The next day we take a trip and long lunch on the river next to the beautiful Grand Palace and then make our way to the station for the train trip to Changmai.

Train and station are spotless - no cockroaches, no mice and steward service who keeps the beer flowing and takes orders for dinner and breakfast.  We meet a couple of blokes on the train, Bryn and Graham, who have English chocolate to share - we love them!!  A stewardess makes up our beds which are spotless and very comfortable, just to show it can be done.  In the morning all the bedding is packed away for us and we are served breakfast while the sun rises over the spectacular north Thailand scenery. 

We check into our hotel and explore Changmai - it has grown since we were here 8 years ago, but we can still recognise a few favourite spots.  We go to one, The River View restaurant for a meal and our first bottle of wine since Goa.  The view from the restaurant is wonderful as all the lights in the city come on.  People are sending up little candle heated baloons, some of which have firecrackers or roman candles attached (Apparently this is a way of banishing your bad luck).  They look like slow motion shooting stars only going upwards!!  They look simply beautiful.  Some fireworks are let off along the riverbank and it is all just magical. 

We have a great nights sleep only interupted by a sodding text message from our dear Ex friend Terry.  Terry you said you couldn't open our message.... it said "we're 7 hours ahead of you".......this means it was 2 am when it arrived!!   Nice to know you were on the way back from France...hope it wasn't too rough.....don't suppose you were sick?????

We then wasted an entire bloody day getting this blasted blog up to date.....you buggers had better be reading it............we WILL be asking questions!!!!